Elaine, I think that cases like yours really shows the wisdom of picking your battles. I was never allowed to wear make up to school, but could at home if I wanted to (like there was any point, and I guess that was the reason!) and I was allowed to have my ears pierced. I had my hair style chosen until I was about 14 when I was allowed to start letting it grow instead.
But I was allowed to drink alcohol in the house. We were allowed to do things as a part of a family that we couldn't do alone. They taught alcohol moderation and how to recognise my limits, and as a result I never went mad. I never got sick on alcohol, and haven't the same issues as my sister, who never drank when growing up, because she didn't like the taste.
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