aw thanks, kitsch! i have spent (wasted?) so much time waiting and waiting for that apology from dh... but to no avail. now i'd much rather just get the whole issue over and done with so we can move on with our lives instead of becoming more resentful and even growing apart.
when it comes to dealing with conflicts, you have to choose whether you want to make connections with people or if you want to push people away even if you know you are "right." i know a lot of people who are critical and feel that they are just being honest or they have a right to express their feelings how and when they want. we all know people like that, right? like when dealing with a waitress who forgot something, a bank teller, a co-worker, even children, spouses and of course... my mother in law! standing your ground all the time or being brutally honest just creates more bitterness and hostility and resentment...even if you're right and they're wrong.
so i guess it's my attitude that 99% of the time i don't care who's wrong or who's right... it's about calming down, understanding the other person before being understood, then finding a solution for both parties that will also allow for the other person (who may know they're wrong but won't admit) to save face. maybe this can be accomplished before going to bed, if not, there's always tomorrow.
because once you admit you're not perfect, that opens a door for the other person. and only good will come of it. at least that's what i believe in my heart.
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