Thanks Barbara, Kitsch and Britjojo! I do have a good guy, whose faults are bearable but who has also made ME want to be a better woman!
And so as to the original topic of "independent women" I want to share with y'all some words of wisdom imparted on me by my wonderful CBT therapist. With regard to priorities in life she has told her own husband that SHE comes first, then her kids, then her husband. She explained that she herself is number one priority because she needed to be healthy and stable in order to take care of the kids. Second priority is the kids, because they need her. Period. Third is the husband because frankly, he's an adult and can take care of himself. And if the kids were on a railroad track while a train approached, she would give up her life to save the children. But if her husband were on a railroad track while a train approached, she would not give up her life because a) he's an adult and should know better and b) she cannot give up her life because then who would take care of the kids? A foolish widowed husband who can't even take care of himself?
Being a sahm can be a blessing but also places me in a very precarious position as a mom of two kids who is very dependent on her husband's income... and I do not like it one bit. I want to be able to raise my kids as a single mom if necessary.
As I mentioned in another thread, my dh and I have had serious disagreements, bringing us right to the brink of ending our marriage. So this past Feb. I decided to go back to school and get my graduate degree in guidance counseling so I can have my own career and also be here for my kids by working in a school district. I want to be able to leave if the going gets rough...
Which also has to do with my own family history. My beautiful (and fashionable!) mother was valedictorian of her high school class. She had aspirations of working as an ambassador for the UN. But those dreams were pushed to the back burner in order to raise a family: she had a baby when she was 17, married my dad, had another son, then me. When she and my Dad had marital problems that they tried so hard to work out, she wanted to leave him so many times, but didn't. My mother died at the young age of 29, and I had just turned 4.
My father was a wreck and I was sent to live with all sorts of relatives and did not reunite with my dad and brothers until I was nearly 8. Which caused all sorts of childhood depression, being molested, having an eating disorder and suffering abandonement issues... but that's another story. The main point is that nothing is certain in life... you are not entitled to a happily ever after. You have to work hard and earn it.
So always try to maintain your independence, ladies, even if you do find your Prince Charming!