Britjojo, I feel for you. I am also bipolar, though I don't have the added strain of a young child at home. I have to tell you honestly that if it weren't for medications, I wouldn't be alive today.
If your depression is so severe it's interfering with your parenting, you need to take some sort of action. If you're dead set against meds, consider going back into counseling. Or perhaps you could consult an herbalist for a more natural remedy. Frankly, I wasn't thrilled with meds in the beginning, either, but my doctor convinced me to try them for three months, and they made SUCH a huge difference I've stayed on them.
Whatever you do, I hope it helps and I hope you feel better soon. My thoughts are with you and your little one.
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