I completely agree, Britjojo. Being a SAHM is a difficult and thankless job. In fact, several years ago I recall there was a movement (small) here in the US that attempted to classify stay-at-home-parenting as a bonafide profession worthy of an additional tax deduction on federal and state income tax. I don't think the bill made it very far because we sahms don't contribute actual dollars to the GNP. Which speaks volumes about what this society values. Productivity is measured by dollars earned, not in raising a nurtured, well-rounded and responsible citizen.
On another note, I can relate to the terrible sleep deprivation! I've been a sahm myself for the past four years, but I also started working part-time two years ago while remaining a full-time sahm. Lack of sleep is terrible (and definitely contributes towards depression!), I do hope you find some relief.
I got into the habit of sleeping with my second child (first our bed then in hers) and then she grew reliant on it. Truth was, I enjoyed sleeping with my daughter very much. So I was really the one to blame for the bad habit.
Finally, I bit the bullet and did some serious tough love (learned from books and "The Nanny" tv show, which i love! I put her in bed, read stories, kissed and said good night, closed the door and went to my bedroom. When she came out, I didn't talk to her or appease her (I want a drink, etc) or even look at her, but I just placed her back in her bed. I'd continue this routine, ignoring her cries (very difficult!) and remaining steadfast. It worked wonders!
The first night is most difficult and can last a few hours. But it get easier with each passing night, as long as you maintain the same routine and don't give in to her excuses. We celebrated with a special party (or a coveted toy) when she slept thru the night until sunrise. And I finally got more than 4 hours of sleep - what an amazing feeling!
The main thing is that I had to teach her how to self-soothe (my son sucked his thumb and liked tags, my daughter never was a thumb sucker nor did she use a pacifier). We all wake up every 4 or 6 hours (circadian rhythm) but we usually fall back asleep. Toddlers (especially) have difficulty nodding back off and can get used to having them rocked or held or getting attention from a parent in order to go back to sleep. Using tough love really helped me and restored quality time with my dh. Have you tried this method?
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