Dearest friend Kitsch... I know you choose your words wisely so here are some considerations that you should factor into whatever you choose:
1. my long term boyfriend and i broke up about two months ago after five years where did each of you see the relationship heading as far as timing was concerned? move forward to the next step? stand still? end it and move on because there was no future?
2. he was the one who said he didnt want any communication anymore why? did either of you need to forget? was there pain involved that needed healing time? was there a third party?
3. so i went back to my single life. just when i was recovering and back on my feet again as a single happy girl are you happier without him? are you enjoying your solitude? would you be happier with someone more compatible? do you want to keep your options open? when you look back, was there more good than bad in that relationship?
4. he has started calling again..like once a week. is he just lonely? does he still want to keep you to himself? does he genuinely miss you? has he changed his perspective? are you both on the same page now?
5. although it's good that we are still really good friends i don't think im ready for that yet. is it still painful? do either of you want more than the other is willing to give? trust yourself - if you don't think you're ready then you are NOT ready.
7. it's too confusing at this time. what does he really want? is it in line with what you want? if not, then it may still be the wrong time and/or wrong place and/or wrong guy for you.
8. is it ok if i cut ties with him now? if that's what will make you happy, kitsch - do it!
Overall, I just want to recommend maintaining your dignity, filling yourself up with positive thoughts about yourself and surrounding yourself with like-minded people who share common interests, make you laugh and are easy to get along with. Just in the past two months alone, I've come to know you as a wonderful person! You deserve to be with someone who is not only your soul mate, best friend, partner who eagerly fulfills your needs and a potential father figure for possible future kids. So does this guy really mean something to you? (I always think of the line in Tori Amos' song "Leather" - it goes 'But why do I need you to love me when you can't hold what I hold dear?') If not, then I think you know the answer yourself.
Kitsch, be selfish for a change and do what is right and good for you. It's trite to say "love yourself" and "know yourself" but they're the hardest things to do when you're in your 20's. And of course, own up to your decision - for every action there is a reaction. A wonderful quote that I refer to when I have to make any decision or sacrifice is: "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else" (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
|