Thanks for the responses. I like the idea of a 3 year plan - I might borrow that and make it a 6 year plan - that's how long it will take us to get our finances sorted out and be able to buy a house of our own. I think everyone who has ever visited our flat will agree it isn't a place kids should be in!
I admire people who make good parents - it takes a patience and devotion that I just don't have. I think I'm hyper-aware of that because I know someone who is an appalling mother (not in the way that I think I would be, but her child was unexpected, unwanted, and treated like an inconvenience for the first 7 or 8 years) - her child has turned out to be a not very nice person, and I feel for her, and the people who now have to look after her and undo that damage.
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