Braids-a Statement?!

[britjojo]

Ok so my daughter is biracial. I am white, and am in no way used to dealing with curly hair-mine is waist length and straight as is possible. Hers is a mass of soft curls-no kinks, but not what I am used to dealing with.

So since we were out for an important day today I decided to braid her hair. It was a convenience thing-not having it get messy and keep it out of her way.

But I had two people make negative comments. Was I trying to make some kind of a statement with 'that' hairdo, and someone else ask my why I would want a black do on my kid.

What in crap makes people think they have a right to say things like that? And what kind of statement would I be making, other than I want my kid's hair tidy?!

[quietstrm27]

Wow that was a really ignorant statement to make, I'd be upset. Anyone can wear braids and I like that it's an easy low maintanence hairstyle.

[FourBear]

I'm white as white can be, and sometimes wear a braid or two. I've had my whole head in tons of tiny braids when I've gone on vacation, too. It shouldn't make a difference! As long as your daughter likes the braids, it shouldn't be anyone's business.

[britjojo]

These were tiny braids all over her head, like you mentioned. The bands that tied them were coordinated to match the dress she wore, and all in all it saved me SO much time and effort, despite the hour spent doing it.

Some people are just so ignorant.

[kitsch_k]

a friend of mine who has really curly hair also gets nasty comments all the time..so he just decided to shave all his hair off!! i thnk some people are just tooo ignorant. curly hair is so nice..i mean look at all those little girls with curly hair they look like dolls!! andthose boys? they look like those hot european soccer players!!

[etali]

I'd have been very annoyed if someone had made comments like that, but really, they're the ones being stupid and ignorant, not you.

It's none of their business what hair do someone elses child has!

When I see it I that braid look think to myself 'Wow, it must have taken ages to put all those braids in' - that's all. I've never thought it was a racial statement or anything, and even if it was, so what?

[elaine130]

Originally Posted by britjojo

Ok so my daughter is biracial. I am white, and am in no way used to dealing with curly hair-mine is waist length and straight as is possible. Hers is a mass of soft curls-no kinks, but not what I am used to dealing with.

So since we were out for an important day today I decided to braid her hair. It was a convenience thing-not having it get messy and keep it out of her way.

But I had two people make negative comments. Was I trying to make some kind of a statement with 'that' hairdo, and someone else ask my why I would want a black do on my kid.

What in crap makes people think they have a right to say things like that? And what kind of statement would I be making, other than I want my kid's hair tidy?!

After reading your words carefully, I'm very sad to say that you were accosted by racists, britjojo! They disapproved of your daughter's black side, and maybe they would rather just believe that she's white. I think this also ties in to your other thread you posted about how people disapproved of how you dressed your daughter - they almost want her to be invisible, to blend in, but you dress her brightly in beautiful colors because you are proud of her!

My advice? Don't react the way these people expect you to act - offended, annoyed, even a bit guilty because you chose convenience and they are ultimately making you feel like an inadequate mom somehow (which is not true at all, as far as I can see!). Instead, react in an unexpected way, like make a joke and say that you love the look of a "black do" on your child and then confront them with, "Why? Do YOU have something against her being half black?" Put them on the spot with a question probing the real concern hidden underneath and see how they react! And then, for fun, braid YOUR hair the same way as you braid hers! Like daughter, like mother! And see what they have to say then.... take that! Or maybe wear a "do-rag" one day! See how they like that!