Hi Everyone!

[KeLLi]

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Been having some things going on lately and they aren't good. I'll probably post about it soon. But I just wanted to say hi and see how everyone is doing!

[DianneMK]

Its nice to see you post,Kelli.I was wondering why you haven't been here in a while.Hope you are doing ok.Come back and see us when you can.
((((hugs))))

[KeLLi]

Thanks Dianne! I will be back later tonight to post some about something going on in my life that's pretty major and need some advice.

[KeLLi]

Okay, I'm going to try to make this as short as I can because it's not very sweet.

MY friend and I of 23 years had a little falling out. She knows why she doesn't want to talk to me but I don't. We grew up together, went to church together everything. Just last week she decided to tell me that she can't be friends with me anymore because of my religious beliefs after 23 years and going to church together, you don't want to be my friend anymore?

She said I don't follow the way she does. Basically she 'bible thumps' people who come to her or talk to her. Religion was never a topic with us unless I brought it up in which she would tell me 'I'm attacking her'.

So she told my other friend today that she hates me because I hate her oldest son and I was a crappy friend to her and always ignored her when we're out with groups. (her son is pretty independent and likes to be left alone unless he's tired and then he wants his mommy. we never go out with groups of people because no one can stand to be around her. It would have been nice for her to tell me I'm a crappy friend instead of through a mutual friend (who lost a lot of respect for her).

She tells me I'm not a believe like she is because I don't go to church every sunday. I didn't know in order to believe I had to go to church. If she says anything religious to me and I ask a question she always says, 'It's in the bible.' or 'You're attacking me.' I don't know what to do. I can't believe she would throw 23 years of friendship down the drain.

People keep telling me she has something else going on in her life and she's blaming me for it. And I can see that happening, but she's taken this way to far. She told me last week that I don't deserve to have kids (I've been TTC #1 since Aug. 2004) and that I wouldn't be a good mother. Kick in the face, let me tell you. I'm not sure I can be friends with her after all of this. She's gone so over board with things and I'm kind of scared for her kids. Her husband doesn't do anything to help her out. Their house is a mess (and I mean food, ants, bugs on their floors because they don't clean) and their oldest son had to go to the hospital the beginning of the year and have tests ran because he was so under nourished from her not feeding them.

She sits in this recliner, puts the baby (2 months old) in her lap and then puts her laptop on the side of the recliner and that's it. That's where she stays. Her middle son is having the same problems with his weight. He's not eating. I went to her house about a month ago and took them up donuts and they inhaled them. They act like their are starving.

I told my mom about it and she said I should call social services on her. I don't want her kids taken from her but she's not feeding them. Her oldest isn't potty trained because she won't take the time to do it. I had asked her if she brushed their teeth and she told me 'when I remember.' OMG you don't brush your kids teeth.

Sorry, this is long. I'm done now.

[kitsch_k]

oh my god..that is such a sad story...it looks like your friend is going through so much right now. it would have been better if she leaned on you instead of dropping all her angst at you.

[Barbara]

OMG! She needs help big time that is so sad.And the things that was said about you.She should have come to you and not do you the way she did.You have have been able to help her.

[KeLLi]

I know. When has she not been able to come to me? 23 years down the drain. And I blamed myself for a while. Now I'm just confused.

[Barbara]

Kelli, hon you can not blame yourself for what she has done.And i agree she should have been able to come to you after 23 years of friendship. I wish she would just come and try to talk it out with you. I will keep you and her in my prayers hon.

[DianneMK]

Kelli there is a lot of things it appears going on at her house,and apparently she is taking it out on you:her best friend of 23 years.It looks as if she is very jealous of your life.
But...I would call protective services and have them do a welfare check on the kids.You can do this confidentally without leaving your name.If PS does come to her house,they come unsupectingly and in unmarked vehicles that do not draw attention as to the nature of their business.And by all means if she were to ask you if you called PS,you don't have to say anything.Just tell her you have no clue as to what she is talking about.
The kids sound like they need to be removed from this horrible situation.I am very sorry she doesn't want to be friends with you.
I would always be happy to be your friend.And if it helps to make you feel better,I believe in God very much,and yet being Catholic,I don't go to church very often as I should,but again,living in Florida,there aren't very many Catholic churches around me.
Hope this make you feel better.

[KeLLi]

Do you all think bad of me because I don't go to church? She hates my husband because he's agnostic. I just don't get it. I really don't. I think I might call PS on her. I'm just worried about the kids (you know, the one's I hate)

She mad at me because I don't need to find a babysitter and can come and go as I please. But I would trade all of that to have a baby after trying for 3 years, yeah, I would.

Thank you ladies for the support

[DianneMK]

Kelli I don't go to church like I should.Does that make me a bad person?Not in my eyes.I don't think bad of you because you do not faithfully go to church.
And as for the kids welfare...call PS.
Oh and another thing...your friend is just jealous of you.Thats all.In time you will have the family your heart desires.Maybe then your green eyed jealous friend will stop being so nasty and hurtful to you.
CALL PS on those kids.They deserve better than what they live in now.

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Do you all think bad of me because I don't go to church? She hates my husband because he's agnostic. I just don't get it. I really don't. I think I might call PS on her. I'm just worried about the kids (you know, the one's I hate)

She mad at me because I don't need to find a babysitter and can come and go as I please. But I would trade all of that to have a baby after trying for 3 years, yeah, I would.

Thank you ladies for the support

just because u dont go to church that doesnt give her the right to judge you. no one has the right to judge us but our Creator.

[KeLLi]

This may sound funny but lately since everything happened with her I've been seeing 'signs' for things. It sounds weird, yes I know. Like today heading to the beach, I see this license plate in front of me that says HI HEAVN while I'm listening to part of a song that goes 'You're the only one who can hold your head up high shake your fists at the gates saying "I have come home now" Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father, tell him our pillar of faith has ascended. "It's time now, my time now, give me my, give me my wings!'

Yes, I know I'm weird haha

[kitsch_k]

hehe its ok kelli. i think its normal that you are seeking all avenues to understand what has just happened. i value my friends very much too and 23 yrs is a long and tested friendship. its too bad she threw that all away...

[KeLLi]

it is sad. i just wish she would have come to me about it instead of going behind my back. Ahh well, what's done is done, right? I guess all I can say is if she wants to get back in touch with me, she knows my number.

[kitsch_k]

it's great that you understand her situation and you're still very much open to talking to her once she realizes the mistake that she made...

[KeLLi]

But it's hard. I'm an impatient person and I hate giving time, you know? I want to call her up and ask her what her problem is, but I'm not. Holding back.

[DianneMK]

Dude...PLEASE get a life and peddle your spam crap elsewhere.This forum isn't for people like you....now be gone or I'll drop a house on you.

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

But it's hard. I'm an impatient person and I hate giving time, you know? I want to call her up and ask her what her problem is, but I'm not. Holding back.

i understand becauuse im like that too! i dont like sleeping on problems. i would rather confront it and discuss it and get it over with.

[KeLLi]

Exactly. I didn't sleep for 3 days, no lie. Not good for me, I know. But I just figured I need to give her time.

[DianneMK]

Kelli maybe you should see if she has any alone time and ask her out for lunch.Maybe the two of you could just have a heart to heart,woman to woman talk and find out what really is going on.23 years of friendship is just hard to throw away,you know what I mean.Maybe she is overwhelmed at home.I don't know.Try it.

[KeLLi]

I've tried to ask her to lunch but she won't go. She says she has nothing to say to me right now. She's making it out that it's my fault. I'm just letting her have her space.

[PrettyinPink]

I missed so much since I've been away. Kelli, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all of this, but I think that you are doing the right thing by giving her space. I don't have any other insightful advice that other haven't already said, but I hope that things get better!

[KeLLi]

Thanks. But a part of me wants to go to her house and just confront her, you know?

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Thanks. But a part of me wants to go to her house and just confront her, you know?

you and i kelli, we are so alike!
if i were you, i would be thinking of doing the same thing to get it over with u know?

[KeLLi]

I know. but the only bad thing about it is I've always had to explain myself to her because she takes things the wrong way. I'm tired of having to call her to explain to her things that I have said that she takes the wrong way. She knows my number, why can't she call me?

[kitsch_k]

maybe she isnt calling u because she's really bent on thinking that you're the one at fault here...(when it clearly isnt the case)..i think she's letting her pride get in the way that's why she isnt calling u.

[KeLLi]

She emailed me yesterday. I don't have much time to get into that right now but I will later! Got to head to work!

[KeLLi]

Okay... home from work now so I can tell you all what she said...

I emailed her telling her that since she made it clear she doesn't want to be friends anymore, I would like to have my necklace back that I gave her that friday before everything happened.

She sends me an email saying I'm the one who made it that we didn't want to be friends. I said to her that she told me she didn't want to be friends. And she didn't say anything about that.

I sent her a message back telling her I was hurt that she talked about me behind my back and told a mutual friend that I hated her oldest son. She skipped over that. So I said... so it's true that you said that huh? I'm hurt that you would think I hate your son.

She eventually apologized for that (not sure if she meant it or just wanted me to drop the subject) and that was it. She did tell me that she is mad at me for what I said and did to her. When I asked her what I did and said to her, she played it off, like you know what you said. So, I'm thinking she just wants to blame me still for whatever.

I've racked my brain trying to figure out what I said and did to her. Oh well. I told her when she's really ready to talk, she can call me.

[Barbara]

Kelli,I am sorry i just wish i knew what to say to help.Maybe she needs time but i don't care for friends that go behind your back.She should have come to you and not to the other friend.

[KeLLi]

Originally Posted by Barbara

Kelli,I am sorry i just wish i knew what to say to help.Maybe she needs time but i don't care for friends that go behind your back.She should have come to you and not to the other friend.

That's what I told her and she just ignores me when I say that.

[Barbara]

There has to be a reason she is acting this way....i hope that she will just open up to you.Maybe then you can work it out and be friends again. Its sad cause life is life we never know what it will hand us.

[KeLLi]

Exactly! I totally agree with you. I wish she would open up to me like she has before. And if I did something to get, please tell me, you know? It would make it easier on both of us!

[Barbara]

Kelli, maybe its not you at all hon if she can't tell you why. There must be something going on with her .But if you was the best of friends she should be able to come to you. I will keep you and her in my prayers .Its sad to have been friends that long and now its over and there is no answer as to why.Just hang in there she may get back to you.

[KeLLi]

Thanks Barbara. I appreciate it very much!

On another note, my hubby and I left for the beach friday night around 6:00pm, got to my parents at 9:00pm. Woke up yesterday morning and hubby went to go get breakfast and our truck won't go into reverse. So, we turned drove home yesterday. So luckily my father in law is letting us use his Hummer until we get our truck fixed. And he said he would help us out with the cost if we need a new transmission. Man, let me tell you, when it rains, it pours!

Hope you ladies are having better days then me!!

[Barbara]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Thanks Barbara. I appreciate it very much!

On another note, my hubby and I left for the beach friday night around 6:00pm, got to my parents at 9:00pm. Woke up yesterday morning and hubby went to go get breakfast and our truck won't go into reverse. So, we turned drove home yesterday. So luckily my father in law is letting us use his Hummer until we get our truck fixed. And he said he would help us out with the cost if we need a new transmission. Man, let me tell you, when it rains, it pours!

Hope you ladies are having better days then me!!

Hope you get the truck fixed soon.As for your friend its up to her to make the next move.I am still saying prayers for you and her hon.Good Luck

[KeLLi]

Thanks Barbara! Do you think I'm wrong by basically saying 'the ball is in her court'? Or what? I've never had to really deal with something like this before.

We dropped off our truck this morning and the guy is gonna look at it and let us know tomorrow sometime. While we're having our truck looked at, my Father in law is letting my hubby and I drive his Hummer H3 around. When we get our truck back I'm not gonna want to drive it after driving the Hummer!

[Barbara]

Kelli, no i don't hon its up to her now.I hope she will try and talk to you but you never know.I can't understand why someone that has a friendship after that many years.......is just will to let it go without ever trying to save it.

So its fun to drive a hummer? There so big.hehe

[KeLLi]

Barbara... really, I appreciate it! The Hummer is fun to drive. It's not as big as I thought it would be. It just sits up a little higher.

[Barbara]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Barbara... really, I appreciate it! The Hummer is fun to drive. It's not as big as I thought it would be. It just sits up a little higher.

Anytime hon i just hope she will get back to you.But its in her ballpark now.

[KeLLi]

Thanks!

[Barbara]

Kelli how ias everything with you?Has your friend called you yet if not i guess the friendship is over with? I really hope it is not ....hope that she will talk to you so it can be worked out.

[KeLLi]

She has't called me but she has sent me emails. Not explaining anything though. So I'm letting it go. I've told her the ball is in her court. When she realizes she's chased all of her friends away because they don't like to be preached to then she will hopefully come to her senses and say 'hm I did this, not anyone else.' I've noticed I'm happier with her not in my life because she always brought me down. Talking down to me and making me feel low.

[kitsch_k]

good for u kelli...uve done everything you should have done...it's her decision now.

[KeLLi]

Yep and like I said, with her out of my life I don't feel like I have a weight on my shoulder like I have to not be myself around her. You know what I mean?

[Barbara]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Yep and like I said, with her out of my life I don't feel like I have a weight on my shoulder like I have to not be myself around her. You know what I mean?

Kelli, that is good news hon. Let her make the call if ever but it sounds like you are better off without her.We don't need people in our lives bringing us down.....life is just to short for that.

[KeLLi]

Yep! 100% agree with you on that Barbara!

[Gilipsie]

Originally Posted by KeLLi

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Been having some things going on lately and they aren't good. I'll probably post about it soon. But I just wanted to say hi and see how everyone is doing!

Well I hope all isn't that bad with you because we need ya around here. I hope it gets better.

[KeLLi]

Originally Posted by Gilipsie

Well I hope all isn't that bad with you because we need ya around here. I hope it gets better.

Thanks!! Everything is getting better =]

[sacback]

Thats always a good thing to know that things have at least gotten better.