How do you avoid arguing with your mom?

[MerdeCat]

For those of you that don't get along with your crazy moms, how do you avoid arguing? I'm convinced my mom needs counseling. She's just got some issues.

It depresses me to fight with her, but sometimes I just can't help it. I have trouble holding my tongue. Then I feel guilty.

[raven1083]

i just dont argue i just agree with her because she is my mom and i obey all her rules.

[MerdeCat]

Originally Posted by raven1083

i just dont argue i just agree with her because she is my mom and i obey all her rules.

You obey all her rules? I'm an adult. I don't really "obey" anyone.

[DianneMK]

My mom is the Queen of Lecturers.So to avoid any arguements with her,i let her have her say(i pretend i am listening)and let it go in one ear and out the other.

[layla17]

I do the same thing Dianne. It's so much easier just to pretend you actually care about what she has to say.

[raven1083]

Originally Posted by MerdeCat

You obey all her rules? I'm an adult. I don't really "obey" anyone.

I only obey the advice when i make mistake she is not arguing with me when i make mistake because she knows that i am an adult and has my own decision making that is why there is no sense of arguing with me.

[MerdeCat]

raven, I'll always be a kid to my mom. That's the problem. She never wanted any of us to grow up and leave. She still bugs me about moving back to my hometown.

I wish I could ignore her like some of you do. I'll work on it!

[stargurl84]

I always just say "we need to talk" and I sit down with her and try to reason calmly. It usually works, and if it doesn't at least everyone is calm and we talk it through. Getting into a screaming match is worthless.

[MerdeCat]

star, unfortunately my mom isn't reasonable and will only listen when she gets you upset and screaming. Otherwise you can literally see her ignoring you and not listening. She is the most stubborn person I know. My husband agrees. It's not in my head.

I'll just try not discussing stuff with her!

[Bad Kitty]

I am really blessed that my mother never starts arguments, neither do I consequently. My mother in law, however, is an insane hag that argues with you even if you agree with her. When she starts in with her vitriol, I just walk away and do something else. IT is rude, but she eventually gets the clue.

Some people argue just to hear themselves speak, you can't save them from themselves.

[MerdeCat]

Originally Posted by Bad Kitty

I am really blessed that my mother never starts arguments, neither do I consequently. My mother in law, however, is an insane hag that argues with you even if you agree with her. When she starts in with her vitriol, I just walk away and do something else. IT is rude, but she eventually gets the clue.

Some people argue just to hear themselves speak, you can't save them from themselves.

Vitriol -- I love that word.

[luvbunnies42]

Trying to avoid an arquement with my mom is extremely hard to do at times. I sometimes unleash back.I really shouldn't.When your mom acts more like a child then an adult then sometimes a good dose of this is the problem now fix it or stop complaining about it is needed. At least thats the way it is in my family.Otherwise, I try to walk away and hold my tongue. There's only so much a girl can take though.

My mom's man issue is bad relationships and lack of control over my younger brother. That seems to be were most our arquements stem from.

[MerdeCat]

Hey luvbunnies. Thanks.

I've had a lot of different issues with my Mom, but lately I'm just tired of her trying to get her way. And I do get tired of hearing her complain about the same problems over and over again. For five years now she's been complaining about her teeth and how she can't afford the dentist.

Umm, if she had bought dental insurance a long time ago, she could have gotten them fixed. Instead she's more interested in supporting my two adult younger siblings and my sister's boyfriend. They are all in their 20s! Please.

[noodles]

hmm...seems alot of us have this in common...

I am thankful that My mother, my mother-in-law, my stepmother-in-law, and my ex-stepmother-in law all avoid arguments when we are about to reach that point. Nevertheless, I have gotten into it with ALL of them...WOOHOO!

I usually turn around and walk away when it gets to a point where I'm about to blow up.

In alot of cases, we ignore each other for long periods of time. Which actually, it's spectacular not having to deal with any parents and just be with my very own husband and kids.



I have been begging my husband for 5 years for us to move at least 5 states away from here....

[luvbunnies42]

Originally Posted by MerdeCat

Hey luvbunnies. Thanks.

I've had a lot of different issues with my Mom, but lately I'm just tired of her trying to get her way. And I do get tired of hearing her complain about the same problems over and over again. For five years now she's been complaining about her teeth and how she can't afford the dentist.

Umm, if she had bought dental insurance a long time ago, she could have gotten them fixed. Instead she's more interested in supporting my two adult younger siblings and my sister's boyfriend. They are all in their 20s! Please.

It appears we have that in common too. However I am the one in my 20's, married, and with a toddler. My mom does everything for my younger brother. We arque a alot about that. Mainly how disrespectful he is and how he is babied constantly.If I need help or advice I have no one to rely on.Some say it's jealousy but it's really not. It's aggravation that no matter what I do it appears I can't please my parents. If my brother does something small you would think he discovered a cure for cancer. My mom takes care of him too. Though he works full time and doesn't make bad money either. Oh, there is so many things that bother me about the dynamic of our relationship versus their relationship.

My mom has a problem of not understanding how to prioritize either.Things that should be more important at the moment aren't. Oh, or one of my favorites when she says she'll give you money for your wedding gift,birthday, or another holiday and nothing ever happens but your brother gets ciggerettes bought for him and money wasted on petty junk.

[MerdeCat]

We do have a lot in common. I sometimes wonder if my brother will ever get married. He would probably expect his wife to do everything for him like my mom does.

[luvbunnies42]

Originally Posted by MerdeCat

We do have a lot in common. I sometimes wonder if my brother will ever get married. He would probably expect his wife to do everything for him like my mom does.

It's good that you at least have hope of your brother getting married. I however don't even think my brother could handle a steady relationship. His whole personna has changed since he started working. It's sad really. He used to be a sweet kid. Then when he became a teen everything went down hill.

[KJ]

I feel the same exact way as you, my mom is always starting arguements with me and I always want to argue back but I feel bad. Sometimes I end up saying something really mean and ends up making my mom cry, I don't want to make her cry but it just comes out...

I avoid argueing with my mom by living with my boyfriend, which I've been doing for the past month or so. I haven't talked to my mom much since, which avoids arguements.