Do you consider phone Sex cheating?

lcsamano · #1 (**permalink**) 11-08-2006, 01:44 PM

I recently heard from my best friend that she caught her husband on the phone with a girl that was from a phone sex company. He had paid to talk to her. My friend feels as though she has been cheated on and wants a divorce. Do you think it is cheating even though there was no actually interaction in person just on the phone?

#2 (**permalink**) 11-08-2006, 02:05 PM

IMO Yes I feel this is cheating his heart is in the wrong place why not pick the phone up and call his wife if he wanted to have phone sex plus IMO this will lead to more and probably already has so yes this is cheating and if I catch my husband doing this he is in huge trouble and Yes I would want to leave him I am his wife he should come to me for things like this not to some other woman. I think this man has a problem.

lcsamano · #3 (**permalink**) 11-08-2006, 06:21 PM

I think I would leave my husband as well if I ever caught him. I told her that she needed to see why he did it in the first place. I agree he should have picked up the phone and called her. Not sure what she is going to do but will keep you posted.

#4 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:47 AM

Personally, I think when you are in a relationship... it should be with that person and that person only. Maybe her husband was too shy/embarassed to tell his wife that he wanted to have phone sex with her... or perhaps the idea of it was a turn off to her? I think wanting a divorce over phone sex is a little extreme. It was harmless and over the phone with a person he will never meet.

lcsamano · #5 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 01:07 AM

I am sure that there is more to it and I am not hearing the entire story. I know that there have been issues in the past with him flirting with other women in front of her and I think at one point she found a woman's number in his pants pocket. I don't want to meddle all I can do is be there to listen to my friend

#6 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 02:22 AM

What was your best friend's husband's thinking??? Yes, of course there must be a reason for him doing that. But whatever the reason is, he's hurting and insulting your friend. And that certainly is irrespectful of him.

lcsamano · #7 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:14 PM

Well I talked to my friend and she talked to her husband and he said that he just wanted to try it out and see what it was all about. She still doesn't believe him but he has agreed to go to counseling. So I guess they will have to see how that works for them.

#8 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 08:50 PM

Well that's good news, let's just hope for the best.

#9 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcsamano

Well I talked to my friend and she talked to her husband and he said that he just wanted to try it out and see what it was all about. She still doesn't believe him but he has agreed to go to counseling. So I guess they will have to see how that works for them.

counseling for phone sex? wow... kind of seems like a waste of money. i guess if that's what it takes for them to work things out... then i wish the best for them

#10 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 05:00 PM

I don't know - sure it is hurtful - but maybe they are lacking something in their relationship that he felt he needed.

Perhaps, he was trying to get "ideas" through the phone sex to make his sex life with his wife spicier? If the sex life is boring, then I can see someone being driven to the alternative; though, I think it is a huge waste of money. I mean, I know it sounds far fetched, but it is possible.

I wish them the best of luck.

kitsch_k · #11 (**permalink**) 11-13-2006, 11:45 AM

YUP! it's cheating!!

#12 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 12:35 PM

yes absolutely!

#13 (**permalink**) 11-19-2006, 09:11 AM

Was it Jennifer Aniston who heard Brad Pitt having phone sex with Angelina Jolie?

#14 (**permalink**) 12-01-2006, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja

Was it Jennifer Aniston who heard Brad Pitt having phone sex with Angelina Jolie?

Oh my gosh I had not heard this LOL well there are so much that goes on in this world and I am always that last to know I guess.

kitsch_k · #15 (**permalink**) 12-03-2006, 06:43 AM

hahaha..me too! its the first time i heard that rumor!!!

#16 (**permalink**) 12-03-2006, 02:01 PM

Im just not sure if that was true, I just read it here http://thesuperficial.com/2005/01/br...a_jolie_p.html

kitsch_k · #17 (**permalink**) 12-09-2006, 05:23 PM

hahaha..well you never know! this rumor just might be true.

mattie · #18 (**permalink**) 12-10-2006, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barbiedoll1973_tn

IMO Yes I feel this is cheating his heart is in the wrong place why not pick the phone up and call his wife if he wanted to have phone sex plus IMO this will lead to more and probably already has so yes this is cheating and if I catch my husband doing this he is in huge trouble and Yes I would want to leave him I am his wife he should come to me for things like this not to some other woman. I think this man has a problem.

Yes, I agree, if he is doing that then his heart is in the wrong place.

#19 (**permalink**) 12-15-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattie

Yes, I agree, if he is doing that then his heart is in the wrong place.

I'm with Mattie on this one!

kitsch_k · #20 (**permalink**) 12-26-2006, 01:45 PM

y can't guys just get the idea that they can't have everything!!

you can't have a girlfriend to come home to..and a girlfriend to play around with...at the saME time!

lcsamano · #21 (**permalink**) 01-01-2007, 12:19 PM

I had never heard that either. Wow that is crazy if he did. However, when celebs break up the mud flinging ususally starts so who knows what is true.

#22 (**permalink**) 01-02-2007, 02:57 PM

Answering the original question: oh YES, I think that counts as cheating.

And ooooooooooh good gossip about JA and Brangelina.

kitsch_k · #23 (**permalink**) 01-04-2007, 09:56 PM

well i can't blame brad for being so attracted to angelina!

#24 (**permalink**) 01-09-2007, 02:54 PM

If you are in a relationship, yes. In you mind and in your imaginations you are considered to be doing it with someone else already. This is just my opinion.

#25 (**permalink**) 01-11-2007, 09:03 AM

Ah, it's gross and pathetic. I would break up with my boyfriend if he does this....not because it's cheating...but because he's a loser.

#26 (**permalink**) 01-12-2007, 01:44 AM

If you're in a relationship and you're having phone sex with someone else... it IS cheating!

kitsch_k · #27 (**permalink**) 01-12-2007, 11:24 PM

yeah a relationship is a commitment to be faithful to just one person!!! no IFS, no BUTS!

erindallas · #28 (**permalink**) 01-14-2007, 04:12 PM

Phone sex is absolutely cheating. Maybe they can work it out, but I wouldn't trust the bum.

#29 (**permalink**) 01-19-2007, 05:16 PM

I definately consider phone sex to be cheating. I would be absolutely devasted if my husband ever did that to me. It's not as bad as cheating in the flesh, but it's a still a big deal.

pinkbag · #30 (**permalink**) 01-19-2007, 05:50 PM

this is definitely cheating. be it normal sex or cyber sex or phone sex..any form of sex with a person other than the one your are going around with or married to, is definitely Cheating

etali · #31 (**permalink**) 04-15-2007, 10:04 AM

I'd say its cheating - anything you wouldn't want to be caught doing is cheating in my opinion. If it wasn't cheating, then why didn't he tell her he was doing it?

KeLLi · #32 (**permalink**) 04-15-2007, 11:25 PM

Here's my point of view... If he has paid for phone sex, what else has he paid for? I would consider this cheating. Now if she was on the phone with him and her (kind of like ****) then it's another story.

girly2 · #33 (**permalink**) 04-16-2007, 02:20 AM

Yes, phone sex is definitely cheating in my book! I believe that even having any intimate conversation (not even having to do with sex) with a person of the opposite sex is ALSO a form of cheating. One counselor called it an Emotional Affair. When you marry, you vow to share everything with your spouse, sex, intimacy, emotions, feelings, good, bad and ugly.

And I disagree wholeheartedly with the poster who said that counseling is a waste of money. If you broke your arm, you'd go to a doctor, right?

Hope they work things out.

britjojo · #34 (**permalink**) 04-16-2007, 04:06 AM

To the OP; I also believe that this is cheating. Any time you partake of a sexual activity with someone who is not your spouse, you are cheating. The person WANTS to be doing it with someone else, the fact that they didn't make it happen YET is just a technicality.

Fizz · #35 (**permalink**) 04-26-2007, 01:43 PM

I totally believe it's cheating! Not to mention the total waste of money, that in itself would be reason enough to divorce, it shows a total disregard for the mans wife on so many levels!

kitsch_k · #36 (**permalink**) 04-29-2007, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by britjojo

To the OP; I also believe that this is cheating. Any time you partake of a sexual activity with someone who is not your spouse, you are cheating. The person WANTS to be doing it with someone else, the fact that they didn't make it happen YET is just a technicality.

i hate it when men argue on the basis of technicality. it really pisses me off!!!!

elaine130 · #37 (**permalink**) 04-30-2007, 12:14 AM

... just to play devil's advocate: How do you gals feel about your s.o./boyfriend/husband having a playboy or hustler subscription? Or owning **** movies?

I was in shock when I found out a male cousin of mine, who's married 18 years, has a playboy subscription. My dh has a few **** videos and i'm okay with them - especially since he only watches them infrequently, like twice a year (or if he's in the doghouse with me).

I bring all this up because altho I am staunchly against phone sex (it's a form of prostitution to me) and I would absolutely not approve of a subscription to playboy (nevermind hustler - ick!)... I guess an occasional **** video is okay. I suppose men need their fantasies... as do women! Mine's McDreamy and McSteamy...

britjojo · #38 (**permalink**) 04-30-2007, 12:40 AM

Again, I feel the same. Sexual acts should involve the spouse and no one else-**** is just another way of getting off on someone different.

Fizz · #39 (**permalink**) 04-30-2007, 01:21 PM

Personally I just don't get the draw to ****, but I really don't think that's cheating. It does show a disrespect for women. I sure wish the women that model for those type things would get a clue!

elaine130 · #40 (**permalink**) 04-30-2007, 02:10 PM

Fizz, I agree. Women who work in the sex industry - **** actresses, models who pose nude, strippers/exotic dancers, prostitutes, and even the phone sex girls - are very troubled indeed. And some of them say that they never had a dysfunctional family, that they "love" what they do, that their "work" has paid for college or law school, and they even argue that they - not the male patrons - are the ones with the "true power" and influence over men who give them money for their services and grovel at these women's feet. I wonder how feminists feel about that point of view!

Fizz · #41 (**permalink**) 05-01-2007, 11:42 AM

I think they say those things to justify what they do and to cover up their insecurities, it's obvious that they truly do not have any self esteem. If they did they sure wouldn't flaunt themselves the way they do. It's really sad, because if a woman doesn't have self respect what does she have?

dreamr802 · #42 (**permalink**) 07-12-2007, 08:40 PM

Yes it is cheating, I wouldn't want to walk in and find my boyfriend doing that, especially if he has to pay for it!

Gilipsie · #43 (**permalink**) 07-14-2007, 08:18 PM

I think it is the same. It takes away from your current relationship so it is cheating.

Periwinkle · #44 (**permalink**) 07-15-2007, 08:56 PM

Yes, it's cheating.

I can probably forgive my bf if he has to pay someone. But if it's a real girl and not some paid phone sex girl, I'll break up with him.

r8rpwr · #45 (**permalink**) 07-15-2007, 11:28 PM

Yes, it's cheating. Reaching out to another person for sexual satisfaction is cheating. You're betraying your partner.

I feel the same about **** as britjojo. I dont' believe you should invite others into the bedroom.

Lila42 · #46 (**permalink**) 07-23-2007, 08:39 PM

Honest to God, my first idiot husband did that. I went to the beach for the weekend with my sister. No big deal, but when I got the phone bill weeks later there was $90 worth of long distance numbers. I called the phone company and discovered they were sex lines. Of course he denied it over and over again..I had the phone company take the charges off as I just knew it was a mistake..Once the charges came off he admitted it. What an idiot I was. He just wanted to see what this was all about, and he was all alone while I was at the beach. He eventually had an affair and I left him. I don't like it, doesn't smell quite right.

sad and hurt · #47 (**permalink**) 11-19-2007, 12:10 PM

I think it is cheating...I just found out that my significant other had phone sex while I was pregnant. I'm really hurt. Not only do I feel really unattractive and undesirable, but I feel violated as well. i trusted this person and he's so selfish. He gave 22 minutes to someone else that he paid! why didn't he just call me.

anaya · #48 (**permalink**) 12-01-2007, 06:31 AM

cheating definitely... being married means that you are to be with your significant other at all times...each of you is entitled to absolute loyalty from your married partner.
engaging in phone sex with another woman (or man) is cheating and is consequently synonymous to adultery even if either of you (husband or wife) haven't had any personal interaction with that other person. just having lustful thoughts about a person other than your husband/wife is cheating even.

MHJ · #49 (**permalink**) 01-04-2008, 11:51 AM

Considering how much some services charge per minute it is safe to say this type of behavior can be a super money drain!

Aunt Bea · #50 (**permalink**) 01-04-2008, 05:35 PM

Cant you catch STD's from this??

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