Speaking Of Exes.....

[britjojo]

There is a guy, who I dated briefly. Never really worked because we were too good friends already and it was, well it felt odd at the time, but we were young.

Well, fast forward ten years and he is in my life again and once again a really good friend. But I am still married, and going through all this crap with my husband, and hating that "h" word more and more every day.....

We talk a lot, about all kinds of things. Joking, messing around, work stuff, world stuff, and serious stuff too. I said I wasn't interested in being with any man for a long time, but then I started dreaming about Richard (literal asleep dreams, not day dreaming ). Now I can't stop thinking about him. It just seems different this time around, like things would work now.

Except I am married, and he is in another country. I am so bummed right now, having a really sucky night.

[elaine130]

Hey Britjojo! Wow - maybe it's meant to be! That's my initial reaction, seriously. Just stay in touch with him and keep the channel open. I'm proud of you - you were honest and upfront with him about not wanting to be with a man for awhile. So trust that and don't do anything rash. But as far as talking and emailing - go for it!

I'm sure you know that you're in a very vulnerable spot right now. The custody battle, being in a different country, your financial situation, etc. There are so many theories behind dreams, but I happen to like one in particular. It says that dreams help you "experience" a situation and lets your psyche deal with the question "what would happen if..." At a very basic level, you are playing out the scenario in your dream and dealing with the consequences, as you imagine them. Dreams help you deal with problems.

Which brings me to my next point. You may be looking for an escape. Which is how rebounds happen. My advice is to completely tie up the loose ends with your ex, iron out the details with regard to custody, wait until this ex isn't a bother to you anymore - and you feel neither sadness nor fury - just indifference. Do not skip any steps in this whole process, it might be detrimental to you and your future relationships. You don't want unfinished business. End it properly and then you can move on. Don't carry any bitter or other feelings from your ex into a new relationship. As they say, "Fools Rush In..."

If this other man knows your worth, he will be there for you. He will wait. Or perhaps he might date someone else, but not to worry, he will be back for you if he really wants you. Just continue to be your wonderful self... the gal he came back to after all these years!... and he will be around. Just explain to him that you need some time, and if he's a good guy he will totally understand. And no ocean will keep you two apart. HANG IN THERE, SWEETHEART!!!

[kitsch_k]

am actually speechless i dont know what to say. if it were any normal situation i'd say go for it girl..but you're married so that makes everything complicated.

[dreamr802]

Well I agree, maybe this time it's meant to be between you and this guy...if you aren't happy with your husband you shouldn't still be married. It would be hard going through a divorce. But if you think you and this guy would be perfect together, go for it when you get a divorce.