Little friend problem

[Fizz]

I'm going to try to make a long story short, but not sure if that is possible so please bear with me.

I met my husband 20 years ago through a friend that we are still friends with. All those years ago after my husband (then boyfriend) had broken up this friend and I ended up kissing, kissing a lot! It never went any farther then that.

During my husbands first marriage I was still single and I reached the point where I had just given up on the whole idea of love. Our friend had also reached this point. We talked about marrying each other, we figured it would be the perfect marriage because we were such good friends and we already loved each other even if we weren't in love.

I backed off though because I decided that he deserved more time to find the kind of love we would never have for each other.

Now here is the problem. From what I've been told all these years later by my husband is that our friend actually felt more for me then I realized and there were even times that he manipulated our relationship to keep my husband and I apart. We don't blame him for all of it, but from talking to my husband we see his part in it.

This nearly destroyed our long term friendship with him and took us a very long time to move past all of this, but in the end we felt that this friendship regardless of mistakes made 20 years ago was worth saving.

Now we have moved back home and spending more time with this friend. An uncomfortable thing happened last weekend and I'm not sure if it is nothing or something.

We have a gameroom set up in our garage where we play dart, foozeball, kaoroke, etc. Our friend came over last weekend and we started doing kaoroke, it was a lot of fun to begin with, but at some point I realized my friend couldn't see the screen so I moved him over closer to it, but then he kinda wedged himself where he was pressed up against me, I tried moving him closer to the screen, where my husband was standing, but he just wouldn't seem to budge.

Do you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill? My husband thinks I am and he also thinks if I'm not then what does it matter because our relationship with each other is secure.

[etali]

Maybe your friend mis-interpreted your signal when you moved him, or maybe he was trying his luck. It could also have been just total lack of awareness.

I wouldn't stress over just once incident. If he does anything that makes you uneasy again, then tell him to stop, but he would be a fool to risk your friendship like that.

As long as your husband is aware that you don't want anything to happen with this friend, and you keep everything open and above board, I don't see any cause to worry just yet.

I hope it was innocent though - it sounds like you guys are all good friends and it would be a shame for it to be ruined by his behaviour.

[Fizz]

Your right, I shouldn't stress over one incident that could absolutely have been nothing at all. But I will be keeping an eye open. I truly hope it was innocent because we all have been such good friends for so long and friendships like that are a rare and beautiful thing.

[britjojo]

You are wise to keep an eye on this. Ultimately, you have been open with your husband which I think is the best thing you could do, so now it is just doing what needs to be done to maintain the friendship.