Do you think I'm wrong

dreamr802 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-13-2007, 04:51 PM

Ok, my mom hates my boyfriend to the point where when he and I get married I don't think she will come to my wedding, if that happens and she doesn't show up would it be wrong never to talk to her again?

Gilipsie · #2 (**permalink**) 07-14-2007, 08:19 PM

First of all how old are both of you? If you are of legal age, then she is cutting off her nose to spite her face. She is the one with the problem.

Periwinkle · #3 (**permalink**) 07-15-2007, 08:53 PM

Are you old enough to have a boyfriend?

And, why does your mother hate your boyfriend? Does he have a bad reputation?

r8rpwr · #4 (**permalink**) 07-15-2007, 11:13 PM

You've got to give more information. How old are you, and how long have you been with him? And what makes you think he's the one?

Maybe your mom has some thoughts you should consider. Although, I do agree that hating anyone is too extreme.

But overall, yes, I do think it's too harsh to cut someone off for not attending your wedding. Life is too short to have people cut out of your life that way. If in fact you know what you are doing, and you marry this guy and your mom stays away, you have to be the bigger person.

Lila42 · #5 (**permalink**) 07-18-2007, 06:46 PM

Not enough details. Maybe she has good reason to hate him...I know my ex-mother-in-law was beaten, brutally by her boyfriend. She then married him! We didn't go to the wedding. We still spoke to her and helped her leave him later on..but maybe your mother has good reasons. I certainly would never cut my mother out of my life. Men will come and go, you will learn, but family is forever.

kitsch_k · #6 (**permalink**) 07-19-2007, 10:53 AM

yeah you;re right lila...family is forever..and if ever she doesnt come to ur wedding im sure there is a big chance that the two of you will reconcile somehow someday...

lcsamano · #7 (**permalink**) 07-22-2007, 12:23 PM

Lila42, good advice. You are true. Family is forever, however men will come and go. I think that maybe her mom is tryng to protect her. However, we haven't heard all of the details either.

medako · #8 (**permalink**) 07-30-2007, 02:59 PM

there are still plenty of details that are left out, but I would say that even if your mother does not attend your wedding, it's no reason to totally cut off contact with her. You can still see her and talk to her - but if she REALLY doesn't like the man you're with, don't talk about him or bring him around as it would only cause problems or arguements.

crystal1 · #9 (**permalink**) 11-17-2007, 05:07 PM

Umm she feels the way she feels and she might have a reason to feel that way. She has a right to her opinion and there is nothing you can really do about it. Expecially if she doesn't want to change or even try. Now I don't suggest you don't talk to her again because you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life and that isn't something you want to live with on your shoulders. You guys just have to except to disagree. Just ask her to be there for you if she doesn't want to be there for you two.

anaya · #10 (**permalink**) 12-01-2007, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamr802

Ok, my mom hates my boyfriend to the point where when he and I get married I don't think she will come to my wedding, if that happens and she doesn't show up would it be wrong never to talk to her again?

i think your mom has some reason to hate your boyfriend. i still believe in the old-fashioned maxim that moms always know best. i used to be in that same position as yours and my mom and i used to fight over me going out with my (now ex) boyfriend. i was hard-headed then and did what i thought was right.

i think you should give it some thought. people who are in love are sometimes blind to what is really going on. by the time we open our eyes, it would be too late. i hope this doesn't happen to you. i suggest you have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom. maybe she could fill you in with what her concerns are...

kitsch_k · #11 (**permalink**) 12-04-2007, 07:37 AM

i agree to what anaya said - that love can sometimes blind us to the truth..but experience has told me that when we are not in that position, it's easy to give advice, but when it's us who have to decide and act..it's really hard...i can feel anaya's perspective.you're right. but i have to admit me too i cant make the right decisions always..sometimes i blindly follow my heart too.

raven1083 · #12 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 08:20 PM

congratulations on your wedding and i would like to say that it is not okey not to talk to mother even if she dont attend your wedding, you should always remember that you will not be in this planet without her. eventually she will accept that you and your boyfriend really in love with each other and married things will work out just fine, always tell her that you did it because of love and tell your husband to be that he should prove to your mom that you dont make a mistake in choosing the life with me that he will love you to the fullest and will provide you and your siblings to with love care and needs in life. i just hope that this advise would help you. again congratulations on your wedding.

WorkerBea · #13 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 08:28 PM

I haven't talked to my mom in almost 8 years and only a dozen times in the last 23.

It's hard some times but i'm stubborn

Aunt Bea · #14 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 08:39 PM

WOW tahts terrible Workerbee....you shouldnt be that way.....you should talk to you mom. I talk to my mom every day. she and I love to go shopping together! sometimes we are like freinds more than mother and daughter.

WorkerBea · #15 (**permalink**) 02-06-2008, 08:43 PM

I just don't have that kind of relationship not after she gave me up when I was younger

raven1083 · #16 (**permalink**) 02-18-2008, 06:36 PM

my advice to you is that you should talk to her and explain to her your side.

aehbamfan · #17 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 10:55 PM

I think that if you never talked to her again you would really regret it at some point.
Have you talked to her about why she hates your boyfriend? Maybe she sees something that you haven't noticed. As they say, love is blind! I hope the two of you are able to talk things out!

KJ · #18 (**permalink**) 03-30-2008, 02:41 AM

This reminds me of my mom in a way... She used to love my boyfriend when she first met him, then my sisters got into it and put in a bad word for him (which is totally made up, their schemers)... and now she doesn't like him as much...

I do think my mom would come to my wedding (even though that's not happening any time soon...), but she wouldn't be too supportive...

If your mom really didn't come to your wedding - I would say it's fine not to talk to her again... I mean I definitely wouldn't...

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