Third Party

What do you think about relationships that break apart because of a third party? Is that relationship worth saving?

[agent_orange]

It kind of depends, but for the most part, I'd say to hell with the jerk.

[lcsamano]

I think it really depends on the situation. If there is nothing going on with the third party then yes it could be worth saving. However, if a person is messing around with the thrid party I don't think it would be worth it.

Obviously, every situation is different, but generally speaking, if a third party can even get involved in a relationship, then it seems like the relationship is pretty much not bulletproof to begin with.

[kitsch_k]

i think it depends on whether you love the other person enough to forgive and forget...because cheating is not an easy thing to get over ..

yes, i believe that also. but sometimes don't you think that you can forgive someone just because you think he is worth it? for example, he is extremely kind and handsome but always gets involved with other girls?

[agent_orange]

It's still seriously just not worth it. There so many other fishies in the sea, no?

Wait, by involved what do you mean? Involved as in they go to bed together? Involved as in they make out? Or involved as in people always make malicious rumors about your kind and handsome prince charming?

[kitsch_k]

hahah you have a point agent orange..it also depends how far he went with the third party..

[agent_orange]

Originally Posted by kitsch_k

hahah you have a point agent orange..it also depends how far he went with the third party..

One of my exes went on a date with someone else (Which explains why he wasn't calling as much as he used to, jerk! Busy with school my foot!) and I broke up with him the moment I found out. You don't do that to me, buster. Even if you're a major catch.

Originally Posted by agent_orange

It's still seriously just not worth it. There so many other fishies in the sea, no?

Wait, by involved what do you mean? Involved as in they go to bed together? Involved as in they make out? Or involved as in people always make malicious rumors about your kind and handsome prince charming?

well, you can never really find out what happens between them. but you're right, it's probably not worth it

[agent_orange]

Oh, you so can. I did. It's a small world, you just got to have the right...connections

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by agent_orange

One of my exes went on a date with someone else (Which explains why he wasn't calling as much as he used to, jerk! Busy with school my foot!) and I broke up with him the moment I found out. You don't do that to me, buster. Even if you're a major catch.

i admire you girl!! you did the right thing!
btw i love your avatar

If I ever caught him in the act. No questions asked, we're done!

For me, it depends. If he/she is willing to stop doing it and shows willingness to change and regain your trust even if it's really hard now, then I think there's a chance.

[kitsch_k]

yah..if he really regrets it and promises to never do it again and make it up to you..why not

[erindallas]

Every situation is different but it would be difficult for me to trust a cheater. I've had bad experiences.

if only nobody will cheat, the world would be a better place...sounds like world peace song but its true!

[kitsch_k]

this may sound a little too feministic but in my experience...men are more prone to cheating than women. i wonder why...

I don't think so. I wouldn't ever be able to trust the other person again. I would always be worried about what he is doing. I don't want to live like that. I would want to be with someone who wants to be with me and only me.

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by pradaprincess

I don't think so. I wouldn't ever be able to trust the other person again. I would always be worried about what he is doing. I don't want to live like that. I would want to be with someone who wants to be with me and only me.

iwant that too...but maybe we're just too idealistic??

[pinkbag]

Originally Posted by kitsch_k

i think it depends on whether you love the other person enough to forgive and forget...because cheating is not an easy thing to get over ..

i agree with you..it also depends on your circumstances, like if you are married, you may forgive the person to save you marriage or your kids from the repercussions...

[angelthelson]

oh jeez! that happened to me twice..(martyr?) but i got tired of forgiving and forgetting that i had enough and dumped the jerk (my 2 ex bfs are jerks) and i now i am happily married with the man that truly loves me

[elaine130]

I made the same mistakes throughout my 20's and "woke up" when I turned 30.

Next! I say. In the dating world, I believe people should be mature and honest by staying faithful and breaking up with someone if one person wants to date someone else. Honesty also means that it should be clearly stated if you'll be having a casual relationship and date (or even have sex with) others (like you and third, fourth, fifth parties, etc) or be exclusive. You decide if you want to stick with a player or walk away. Trust your mind, as well as your feelings.

It's so hard to decide when to hold on to someone because of the qualities they possess. But sometimes you have to just move on to the next, for your own good and the other person's benefit, too. Maybe it's just bad timing. That can happen if someone is too immature, hasn't gotten over a previous relationship, is avoiding commitment, has other baggage, poor view of relationships, so many variables. Maybe they can't see you for what you're worth and take you for granted. Next!

Also, if you're stuck with the wrong person, how can you be available for the right person when/if they come along? Sometimes it's even better to stay single and just have free coffee dates and even free dinner dates until someone really knocks YOU off your feet and vice versa. When you get to a certain age (like me!) you don't want to spend years with one person to realize that person's not the one for you or vice versa. I think it should take a few months to decide if this person's right.

So enjoy dating and meeting others (not to say have sex with everyone) and keep focusing on what you like to do so you can attract someone with similar interests (opposites attract but eventually repel).

[etali]

If its an affair, then no, thats never worth saving in my opinion.

If its something more complicated (someone out to cause trouble, or a same sex friend that you don't like, or something like that), then that is negotiable.

I had a jealous female friend of my now husband try to break us up - that was an interesting experience, but we came out all the stronger in the end.

[kitsch_k]

Originally Posted by angelthelson

oh jeez! that happened to me twice..(martyr?) but i got tired of forgiving and forgetting that i had enough and dumped the jerk (my 2 ex bfs are jerks) and i now i am happily married with the man that truly loves me

im really happy for you! you deserve to be happy

[angelthelson]

Originally Posted by kitsch_k

im really happy for you! you deserve to be happy

thanks kitsch!! yes i am happy too that i found him without even looking for him!!!

[kitsch_k]

it's great that even if you had really bad boyfriends you still took the risk to love