Heartbroken or Heartbreaker?

#1 (**permalink**) 01-09-2007, 02:21 PM

What's easier for you? What would you choose between the two? ...And why?

?

kitsch_k · #2 (**permalink**) 01-11-2007, 05:11 AM

i think its easier to be the heartbreaker...

#3 (**permalink**) 01-11-2007, 05:19 AM

you didn't answer the last part... why? hehe!

kitsch_k · #4 (**permalink**) 01-11-2007, 05:29 AM

because its easier to handle the guilt of being a heartbreaker than getting over a your broken heart!! hahaha

erindallas · #5 (**permalink**) 01-14-2007, 04:19 PM

I would rather be the heartbreaker...otherwise I might lose faith in love.

#6 (**permalink**) 01-14-2007, 04:48 PM

i would rather be a heartbreaker too but i really don't want to be either

kitsch_k · #7 (**permalink**) 06-08-2007, 07:39 AM

but why is it that even though the guy is one charming heartbreaker, we still fall for him?!

Fizz · #8 (**permalink**) 06-08-2007, 12:19 PM

I might be a little twisted here, but I would rather be the heartbroken, that way it's not my fault that the relationship is over. When I was young I wasn't exactly the nicest person and I hurt some very nice boys. I just don't want to be the person to cause pain ever again.

etali · #9 (**permalink**) 06-09-2007, 11:28 AM

I can see where you're coming from Fizz.

I think I'd rather be heartbroken too. I've ended all the relationships I've been in so far, and I think I'm turning into a bit of a cynic.

That said, I don't want the relationship I'm in now to end - I could cope with a boyfriend ending it, but not a husband...

Fizz · #10 (**permalink**) 06-10-2007, 11:38 AM

I hear you Etali. I don't really think I have cause to worry about my marriage, but if we did split for any reason I would be a train wreck!

britjojo · #11 (**permalink**) 06-10-2007, 09:11 PM

Fizz and Etali I am also with you. I have ended more than my fair share of relationships, and in truth I would rather not have to be there again. Although I had good reason-drug use or because the guy was violent, it still hurt them.

kitsch_k · #12 (**permalink**) 06-11-2007, 08:21 AM

i never intentionally hurt anybody else..so when i was hurt by a person i trusted i was really devastated..i didnt deserve it at all...

Fizz · #13 (**permalink**) 06-11-2007, 10:04 AM

Kitsch you always seem to make me want to hug you! I believe with all my heart that you didn't deserve it. But the old saying is true, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

britjojo · #14 (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 07:32 AM

Wow, then I MUST be close soon! But that saying seems so cruel to frogs, frogs are really nice. I used to love them being around our pond when I was growing up.

And Fizz you're not alone-I feel for you Kitsch!

Fizz · #15 (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 11:29 AM

I've heard of tree huggers, but not sure I've ever heard of frog lovers. I remember once we had a little kiddie pool in our backyard, the kids went out and much to their excitement there were tadpoles in it. They wanted to keep them, but of course they turned into frogs and hopped away.

kitsch_k · #16 (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fizz

Kitsch you always seem to make me want to hug you! I believe with all my heart that you didn't deserve it. But the old saying is true, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

oh dear how many frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince!!!!! haha..but i believe in love...love and you shall be loved!! i will never lose hoopeeee!!!

Fizz · #17 (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 01:15 PM

From what I can tell about you, I don't think you'll have to kiss that many. Your pretty lovable!

britjojo · #18 (**permalink**) 06-12-2007, 05:13 PM

Well, I am a tree hugger, but not a frog lover! I just used to think they were wonderful when I was a little one, and was always rescuing them from my cats. Did you know that scared frogs scream?

kitsch_k · #19 (**permalink**) 06-13-2007, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fizz

From what I can tell about you, I don't think you'll have to kiss that many. Your pretty lovable!

oh dear i pray and hope you are RIGHT!!!

angelthelson · #20 (**permalink**) 06-13-2007, 09:20 AM

most of the time heartbroken but sometimes, a heartbreaker too!!

Fizz · #21 (**permalink**) 06-13-2007, 11:00 AM

Britjojo I had no idea that scared frogs scream that is really wild. Now I'm trying to figure out how I can hear a frog scream without actually scaring one myself. Gee, we really went off topic on this one, lol.

elaine130 · #22 (**permalink**) 06-13-2007, 11:49 PM

I thought I knew the answer to this one, but when I really thought about it, I went with the opposite: I'd rather be heartbroken! I seem to recall that throughout my life (all my 20's, teens, even in grade school!) whenever guys have broken MY heart, it eventually made me stronger somehow and there were less questions of "what if?" etc. The downside is that you question yourself and you feel insecure somehow, thinking that you're not good enough, inferior, etc. But we survive and move on. As for being the heartbreaker - it was plain AWFUL having to end a relationship with a guy who's so much more into you than you ever were. And I usually didn't break up until someone new was on the horizon and cheating was not an option for me. So occasionally when the ex would see me with the new bf... I just wanted to die.

But there was one time I did cheat on a bf (we dated our first 3 yrs. of college), and he was indeed the first true love I'd ever experienced! It was heaven our first two years together on campus but by the end of our 2nd year together, I had no choice but to transferr to another university back in my home state, and we tried to have a long distance relationship. Well, that didn't work for me, despite letters, occasional visits and expensive long distance calls. I was too immature, I'd just turned 21, I was working part-time in a mall filled with attractive guys everywhere and mostly... I was lonely. So I began seeing someone else and I eventually admitted I was cheating on him. Boy was that rough on him. But we made up and we tried to live together in an apartment while I was finishing my senior year. But I continued to see the other guy on the sly. He found out again... yet he still wanted to work things out. I made the decision to break it off completely with him so he could be free. I felt so bad, I thought he deserved someone better. And at that time, I was an emotional wreck anyway so I probably didn't want to be with anyone who was good to me and good for me. So I pushed him away. And he got over me and moved on. (as i write this i'm hearing janet jackson's "where are you now" in my head... the lyrics go: 'where, where are you now? now that i'm ready to, ready to love you the way you loved me then')

But then as I dated throughout my 20's and just wasn't finding "the one," I began to question if I ruined what might have been my one and only chance at true love... simply because I was so damned immature. Fortunately, I was given a second chance at true love and that's with my now husband! I still have his pictures and all the love letters he wrote tucked away in a box somewhere in our basement. And I occasionally have vivid dreams about him and he's looking as hot as ever, he's with a gorgeous gf or wife and won't give me the time of day. When I wake up, I am so glad it was just a dream and that I'm married to my dh - who entered my life at the right time and right place.

But I can't help but wonder "what if" with that ex-bf from way back when...

carebear · #23 (**permalink**) 06-14-2007, 12:44 AM

Being dumped sucks. I've never dumped a guy though. I don't think I rather do one over the other though. They both suck.

Fizz · #24 (**permalink**) 06-14-2007, 12:17 PM

Elaine, I think that it's totally naturally to think "what if", I think we all do that from time to time. But then reality sets in and you realize that the one that the one that got away, got away for a reason.

elaine130 · #25 (**permalink**) 06-14-2007, 05:42 PM

Thanks for the reassurance, Fizz! There was indeed a reason: I was meant to be with my dh! And we were meant to create our two little angels. 'Enuf said!

shainee · #26 (**permalink**) 07-08-2007, 04:46 AM

I'll chose to be a heartbreaker. Though, I'll feel guilty for a while but still It's harder to overcome being heartbroken because you'll be crying and crying for long time.

medako · #27 (**permalink**) 07-08-2007, 07:56 PM

I've been on both sides and it seemed to be easier to deal with as the heartbreaker. It's a sad deal for anyone, but it's better to end a relationship that isn't working than stay in it just so you don't have to break a heart...

Periwinkle · #28 (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 05:36 PM

I'd rather be dumped than dump someone else. It's easier that way because I won't be guilty or something.

Yeah, I know it's weird.

dreamr802 · #29 (**permalink**) 07-10-2007, 05:42 PM

I would think it's easier to be the heartbreaker, but normally I'm the one getting my heart broken.

kitsch_k · #30 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Periwinkle

I'd rather be dumped than dump someone else. It's easier that way because I won't be guilty or something.

Yeah, I know it's weird.

ey ur right it's unusual..but it's admirable...you have a very strong conscience...

Gilipsie · #31 (**permalink**) 07-11-2007, 10:03 PM

I have been on the receiving end on more than one occasion. I never liked it, so it is hard to do it to someone else.

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