Hi Rhoshoun - I have a boy who's 5 and and a girl who's 2 and I agree with you about having another one now so when you're done with school and enter the work force, your children will be in school. I plan to attend grad school next fall and begin working again when my youngest is in school.
With regard to your husband being on the fence, I think that's characteristic of many men out there. If it means a lot to you to get pregnant with number 3 sooner rather than later, then you should assert yourself. It's true that babies and toddlers hold you back a little from travelling and having fun, but it's not forever.
Having said that, my opinion of having a second, fifth, only one or no children at all depends on what you, and your husband, can handle. For me, the three year difference is great (so far). I felt that I did give enough love and attention to my son, so when his sister was born he was not too jealous and was at a good cognitive level (understood sharing) and emotional maturity. Of course, much of it is has to do with temperament - my boy is very sweet, sensitive and loving. My daughter is a little more rambunctious (active+++) and tough.
I've also heard many of my friends and relatives complain about sibling rivalry because their children were less than 2 years apart, especially if they're the same sex, then they're fighting over toys, belongings, etc (did your two boys do this?). My two older brothers are only 14 months apart and don't get along. My second eldest brother doesn't get along very well with me either, especially since I played with my eldest more and I was the baby girl. So for this reason, I would not have an odd number of kids, like 3, because there's an odd man out. I would have 4 if I was richer and 10 years younger! But I think our family is complete with two kids, plus we have 2 cats, 1 dog, 7 fish (at last count) and a zillion dust bunnies. We're done!
With regard to having too large of an age difference, my second eldest brother and his wife just had a baby girl and their 5 year-old daughter is fiercely jealous because she had Daddy and Mommy all to herself for a long time! My children don't fight often and they are very close to one another. Not sure if this had to do with the fact that my brother's 5 year-old was in daycare since she was 5 months and that I became a stay-home mom when my son turned 2 so he had me all to himself for a full year. Who knows.
I'll end this with a famous quote (maybe Hepburn?) that goes something like this: You cannot have it all - great marriage and great kids and great career. Either you have a great marriage and great kids, great kids and a great career, or great career and great marriage. My experience is that, with all three factors at the same time, there's always many sacrifices to be made, the biggest one being YOU. Best wishes to you!
Last edited by elaine130 : 03-09-2007 at 03:08 PM.
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