How do you deal with death?

[rusty2rusty]

I know the subject is not a very happy subject. But sometime in life we all have to deal with it. I feel women deal with death a lot differently than men. I bring it up because in the past week I have been notified about 3 different deaths in my home state. Of course being so far away annd having a lack of funds. I can't go to any of the funernals. So I must deal with this on my own. As noone in the state I live in now knows any of the people that died. So, I feel they wouldn't understand. Nor do I get any comfort from my husband. Not even a hug or I am sorry.

So my question to you is how do you deal with death? Where do you go to seek out comfort?

[jimmys devoted]

First my condolences.

I had family in a different state and I could not attend the funeral either. Of course I was not informed they died until almost a year afterwards. The remaining family I have didnt think to tell me.

You could find support on places like this, there is a forum called " the lightbeyond.com" it has a forum for specifically what you are going through. They are a berevement forum.
The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums
If anyone or a group of people can offer support, they can.

I wish you well
julie

[rusty2rusty]

Thank you very much for your kind words. Thank you very much for sharing that link with me. I will check it out as it sounds like a forum I need right now. You are very kind to share that link with me. Bless you.

[luvbunnies42]

I'm sorry Rusty2rusty. I know that is hard.On a slightly happier note.I believe death comes in three's as well as tradgedy. It seems like your 3 hopefully is over now.

Personally for me it all depends on who passed.If it's someone close to me I take it hard.I cry, I scream, vent, am in shock and anything in between. I try to then turn it into a creative outlet. I was close to my great grandfather.He commited suicide years ago. I ended up writing a poem and got it published. It's always been my way of remembering him. I also take out little items that were his. Most people think why did you keep that junk. (a broken necklace pendant, a hearing aid batterry, a marble and some odds and ends) It was the only thing I had of his and when I miss him I'll take the items out or read over the poem again and just think about him.

With time it gets easier. I had a lot of death in my life and I prepare for it. I know that sounds crazy but I mentioned death comes in 3's. I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone but most people I know this holds true for. Everytime it happens to someone I know, I prepare for the next death. I try to make sure I'm in touch with everyone I'm really close to, and let them know I'm thinking of them and love them.I try to figure out if it's an illness that I may know about.Then I grieve. I've dealth with a lot on my own and thats why I moved everything I was feeling into a creative outlet. That was how I healed.I also go to my husband and talk or just snuggle in his arms. We may not even talk but having his arms around me is somewhat comforting.

[jimmys devoted]

For me I feel teh same way. When my Pooper died I collapsed. I took it very hard. Unable to cope for days. I still ahve a hard time with it and miss him very much.
the same with my dad. he died in a matter of minutes. My mother on the other hand and I had, in last few yeasr a rift that she created. The girls she accpeted as her own and then cast me aside was too much to even think about. and teh consequences that she made me edure was not great.
But we cam ethrough that. I knew alot of her had to with illness.. but still theer wre things at play that could have been dealt with.

If its someone I am close to i too will shout, curse and be in shock for along time. Its part of the healing process.
I think these are wounds that never heal...

I think, as odd as this sounds that things that help are orb photography. After pooper died we have a lot of images of him as orb. So it helps that he is still here in a different form.....