As such an intense handbag fanatic, few things satisfy me more than the hunt for The Perfect Black Bag. I love the look of something functional and stylish, but more than that I enjoy the feel of slouchy, sturdy leather, the contrast of well-placed hardware against a neutral backdrop and the ability for the right bag to look perfect with almost anything. It’s sort of like the little black dress - you can never have too many. The Celine Blossom Medium Tote is a nice example - nice, not perfect. It’s got the slouch factor working in its favor, is extremely spacious, can be hand-held or slung over the shoulder and has a great downtown-chic vibe about it. The silver baubles and studs, however, ruin it for me. I’d have preferred a more simple approach to the hardware, which would have made it a more everyday-appropriate bag. Available for $2050 at Net-a-Porter.

It looks sort of cute and diminutive here, but the Rebecca Minkoff Patent Chain Clutch is a formidable match for your other roomy purses. In fact, it could be considered downright spacious if your daily essentials don’t normally leave your shoulder in pain. Bear in mind that it’s shiny and pink (duh), so filling it above and beyond its abilities would look pretty ridiculous. Its high-gloss finish makes it the perfect finishing touch for something plain, sparkly, club-worthy - you name it. It’s surprisingly versatile, although if fluorescent pink isn’t your color you may want to opt for one of the more neutral shades. Also in fluorescent yellow, black patent and neon trim versions. Prices range from $325 (for the patent and fluorescents) to $335 (for the neon trims). Available at Nordstrom.

A classic shape, the famed exotic skin and even a little touch of celebrity all contribute to this Dolce and Gabbana Miss Sicily Snakeskin Handbag being one of the more anticipated accessories of the season. Though I’m not personally fond of snakeskin, I can appreciate this purse’s ladylike appearance and timelessness - the color palette is neutral enough to wear well year round and the spacious interior makes it useful. And to absolutely no one’s surprise, Victoria Beckham has a pretty fabulous version of it herself (although hers is black, worth much more and was a Christmas gift from the D&G boys - in other words, hers is much, much better). Available to pre-order for $2475 at Nordstrom.

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Peek-a-boo! I see…a hella-expensive Fendi handbag. Seriously. Don’t get too attached, ladies, because this Fendi Watersnake Peek-a-Boo Satchel from the label’s spring/summer 09 collection rings in at a jaw-dropping $5,740. That’s one pricey snake. What that chunk of change gets you is an expandable, natural, black and white watersnake and suede purse outfitted with pewter and gold hardware and a detachable shoulder strap. Frankly, the price gives me a stomachache, and I think that if I had the dough I’d probably just cough up an Hermes, not some flashy snakeskin print. How about you? Available at Eluxury.com for $5,740.

Disarmingly cute but alarmingly small at the same time, this Roberto Cavalli Satin Box Clutch is a real treat if you’re in the market for something dainty, dressy and bright. It’s the perfect antidote to winter darks and neutrals, something to lighten the mood no matter what time of year it is. It’s gorgeous against a contrasting dress and stands out for miles. At just seven inches wide by a mere three inches high, though, it doesn’t prove very useful. For $3245, I do expect more. Available at Net-a-Porter.

I have never been a fan of Christian Louboutin handbags. The designs are usually too over-the-top or too boring, and never pack the same sex appeal that the label’s gorgeous shoes do. Maybe things are taking a turn for the better now that I’ve seen one of the brand’s latest clutches - the Satin Petal Bag. It’s black, feminine, and the peek of red lining mimics the red soles found on all Christian Louboutin shoes. The kiss lock is appropriately made up of two stilettos, standing back to back, and while the dark shade is great for coordinating with everything in your evening wardrobe, it’s also full of whimsy. I can’t remember the last time I saw a clutch as playful and sexy as this. Bonus: there’s a chain strap that can be used or tucked away in the purse if you prefer to go hand-held.

The Christian Louboutin Satin Petal Bag is available at saks.com and retails for $1,495.

Why do designers feel compelled to churn out essentially the same bag, but in a different style? The Jelly Jacquard collection from Marc By Marc Jacobs has proven to be pretty popular for the brand, but this has got to stop. The Jelly Jacquard Shorty Satchel is just plain silly. The bag might be durable, but the design looks like something you’d find in the clearance section at Ross. Not that we’re knocking Ross, we just know they wouldn’t try to charge us $398 for a bag we found there. I like some of the Jelly Jacquard bags, but this one just isn’t cutting it. Put that money towards something that won’t turn up via another hybrid bag next season.

The Jelly Jacquard Shorty Satchel is available at nordstrom.com and retails for $398.

Let me tell you a little something about my taste. I’m just not that into the mainstream stuff, or the overly cutesy labels. Juicy Couture? No. Lanvin? Oh yeah. I like handbags with a little edge, whether it’s heavy gold hardware or just cutting-edge details that set them from the pack. And that is why, yes, I adore this Alexander McQueen Neon Panel Clutch. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I love the funky neon pink explosion of color paired with black patent accents and fashion-forward geometric shapes. It’s very Lady Gaga, but in a good way. I’d totally pair this with a black minidress for a night of club-hopping. Available for $1,070 at Net-a-Porter.com.

Ugh - Valentine’s Day AGAIN? We really need Obama to Guantanamo Bay this sappy mess. But until then, we might as well flaunt our love for love (ick) with a heart-adorned purse. A few favorites below:

Forever 21 Croc Heart Clutch: It’s cute, it’s cheap, and it comes in your choice of red or black. Any questions? Available at Forever 21 for $19.80.

Louis Vuitton Monogram Vernis Heart Coin Purse: Because you know Louis Vuitton will always be your No. 1 Main Man. Available at Eluxury for $450.

Marc Jacobs Zip Heart Clutch: We couldn’t not include this heart-smothered purse, could we? Love the purple hue. Available at Eluxury for $795.

Dahl & Dane Custom I Heart Tote: Send your sweetie a shoutout with a custom-printed tote. Available at Dahl & Dane for $34.

ASOS Quilted Heart Bag: go monochromatic in this Chanel-esque valentine. Available at ASOS for $29.31.

So long, Balenciaga! Mama’s got a new desginer handbag to love: the Hermes Birkin. I for one love Nicole’s flawless blend of high-end luxury with downtown cool - it breathes new life into the classic bag. And I’m totally on board with the signature Hermes orange - unconventional, maybe, but vibrant and fresh. Start saving those pennies, girls.

Photos from PopSugar.com.